Forgiving You!

I had the opportunity to speak with a young lady a while ago. And during the conversation it was evident that majority of her issue was unforgiveness of herself. I begin to think about how often do we pay more attention to the act of forgiving someone else. Which in all actuality, is sometimes easier than having to look yourself in the mirror to forgive the one person whom you see and deal with every day- You!

The young lady was a victim of abuse, drugs, and prostitution; and while I can't wait for her to get to a place that she can give her awesome testimony to the world; it still goes to show how often we neglect our own passage to recovery through forgiveness.

Forgiveness can only come when you have truly acknowledged, accepted, released what happened. In this case, it really doesn't matter who was at fault but more so your moving on. Many times its said forgiving the other person is to help you. Which is true, but the totality of your recovery also includes forgiveness of yourself. When you have accomplished that, then you will begin to see changes in how you view you, as well as how you even treat you.

Arrival to this point in your life can be hard and difficult. Especially depending on the caliber of the thing(s) that have you where you can barely stand to look yourself in the mirror. Why because each day you see yourself, is another day to remind you of what happened. Its as if you keep reliving yesterday each and every day you wake up. No wonder its hard to press and move forward. How can you know the tomorrow you need to press towards; when you can't even see tomorrow as a possibility? Maybe it feels like it is impossible to put forth the effort to seize it. Like walking blindly with your hands out trying to feel your way; hoping to touch tomorrow's path or perhaps hoping it will grab you by the hand to lead the way.

There is a way to get to tomorrow. You have suffered and neglected YOU long enough. Acknowledge, Accept, Release, and Let It Go! The Truth Will Set You Free!!!

Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow...

From one Youthful Soul to Another- God Bless!

Today's a new day to see your life in a new way. Yea, yea I know some things happen that aren't as easy to get pass as others may be. But one thing that always remains in your life is YOU. And believe it or not it is up to you to determine how you are going to start the process of recovery. Life in its own way has roads set up that we have to decide to travel. Its not until the choice is made that determines what we are about to embark upon.

God's love for us is the fact that He knows what we need, when we need it, and how we need to obtain it. The issue for us is that we don't always know how to give Him that power in the faith we need to know that He has it all worked out. This is regardless to what the season is and what things look like.

You can make it, yes even through that, and that too. Why because you already lived to see today. Now its time to work on the process to complete the healing, deliverance, so that you can release and let it go!

From one Youthful Soul to another! God Bless...

Do you know Destiny?

Do you ever wonder why is it so hard for your life to gain momentum enough to push you to the next level? At least the next level in which you seek. It's amazing how we spend so much of our lives preparing for our success only to come to a point when it seems it was null and void. Second guessing if the avenue you choose to pursue was actually the avenue you needed to push forward. Are your truly walking in your destiny?

I imagine this term has been used in so many instances that its almost like its something continuously unobtainable. At least for me, it was confusing sometimes because on one hand you think okay I can do this, I can seize my moment and walk in my destiny. Then on the other hand, you wonder do I even have a destiny and what is it? So let me see if I can shed some light on the favorite term called Destiny. What is Destiny exactly? According to dictionary.com- Destiny is something that is to happen or has happened to a particular person or thing. Destiny is also the predetermined usually inevitable or irresistible course of events. With that being said, sounds like destiny and faith go hand in hand. Which also tells me that both renders a result based on the action of the person performing the act. Now I understand why it can be said you can determine your own destiny. Because based on how you choose to pursue your destiny, delivers the action needed that displays your faith to obtain it. Thus leaving you with an end result called your destiny. However, the truth about all of this is that it can either be positive or negative. You are the only one who can determine which one will it be.

I know we have heard time and time again walk in your destiny. And I have wondered when those words are transferred through the air waves and in to the ears, minds, and hearts of the listener, what actually happens? I imagine some walk away saying I am seizing my moment and I'm walking in my destiny and then some may even walk away in doubt because of what their present situations are. But in either case, in order to walk in your destiny you have to show some form of action to support you even believe you have a destiny in the first place. This starts with you. What do you know about you that you can begin to see what direction have you or are you leading your destiny in? I know it's hard sometimes to believe in yourself when every thing around you is going wrong. But you still have a choice as to how you allow those things to affect you and what you do. You have to be careful that you don't make your circumstances your image. When you allow yourself to take what you already have learned and connect with God, there is where you will begin to realize who you are and whose you are. This also starts the process of believing in yourself, that will enable you to then believe you can accomplish all that is for you. Thus walk in your destiny. Now on the flip side, my request to you is that you don't do so much negative that you cause your destiny to be negative when it comes to pass. For example: if you keep stealing you have just told destiny crime is what you are pursuing and there's a good chance your destiny will be jail. And yes it really is as simple as that. YOU HAVE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN DESTINY!!!!

But just in case you don't know Destiny: Destiny meet You, You meet Destiny. Now that the introduction has been made it's up to you to develop the relationship... So what are you going to do with it?

From one Youthful Soul to another. God Bless!!!

The Value of You

So what does Value really mean? Value is a principle, standard, or quality considered worthwhile or desirable.  Now with that being said, I want to encourage you to develop within yourself the principle, standard, and quality that is worth having.  Yes you heard me correctly, develop within yourself.  Our value can not be given to us by someone else. It is strictly up to us to do what’s necessary to have great value and allow God to shape us into the person He has in His plan for us to become.  The value we develop comes from our morals, character, and conduct. How we behave, how do we handle ourselves in adverse situations and circumstances.

What is my value?  This question can be hard sometimes to answer. Especially when you've gone through so many things in life. It can be hard to see past that stuff. And when we don’t understand or have confidence in the person we are, makes it even harder.  There are so many aspects we must look at in order to clearly be able to answer this question.  We can’t be so easily invoked to latch on to someone else’s perception of us, neither can we be so easily intrigued to become who someone else may have worked hard to become themselves.  Our lives are designed to be lived according to our own path and our own direction. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that we just automatically know what we are supposed to do. Neither are we able to successfully gain the wisdom and insight needed without the help of the Lord God. But what I am saying is that, we owe it to ourselves to be the best and all we can be. 

One’s identity is not determined based on who someone else is or the circumstances in which one may find themselves.  We can’t even allow who our parents may have been or other family members to affect how we feel about ourselves.  Each and every one of us is destined for our own path.  The path we walk should only be based on the path that has been specifically designed for us. You have the power to change your circumstances. Yeah, yeah, I know it sounds easier said than actually doing. But it is true.  The only reason we allow ourselves to become victim to our circumstances is when we choose not to see better for ourselves or choose to remain lazy and not want to do better for ourselves. In either case, we are living beneath our privileges. God never designed for us His children to live beneath the privileges and blessings that His word talks about.  But just like anything else worth having, to have a better life you have to work hard to have a better life. 

So often I find that some people tell themselves that their lives will always be the way it is (whether verbally or through their actions).  When the truth of the matter is that the changes needed to take place to change the present circumstances, lies on the inside.  It’s the inner man that has the ability to tell the mind that it needs to change. And it is the eyes that enable what is seen to become more positive versus remaining negative.  These things that I speak of are not hard, but will take a well made up mind of the individual.  Only then will change be able to take form and shape you into the person that God has always destined for you to be. 

Our lives go through various stages as it takes shape to become the life that we will ultimately end up living.  The hard thing sometimes is the beginning. With the way this world is today, we want things right now, when we want it. And in many cases the media has made life seem as though things can happen just like that.  But what the media doesn’t show is that even for the person(s) who have “arrived”, they had a beginning process also.  We can’t allow the fact that when we see other people at their highest point, make us feel like our lives mean nothing because we are just beginning.  We have to remember that there’s a process for gaining wealth, prosperity, love, self-empowerment.  All these things takes identifying, planning, follow through, and constant re-evaluation. 

So I encourage everyone to be proud of the fact that you are alive and well.  Be willing to accept what God has allowed in your life up to now and what will come in the future. Yet understanding that your lives are in the making process and knowing that you have the power as to how you allow the process to affect you.  Don’t be so quick to hook up to the negative and let the positive go astray.  Remember the more positive you do the more positive you will receive; and the more positive you see the more positive you will give out. You have to decide what caliber of life you want to live and go after those things that cause for you to excel and move forward. All the while never forgetting that the Lord is with you as long as you allow Him to be on your team. 

Stay with Christ or get back to Christ. Let your church’s ministry be an effective part in the growth and development of your spiritual learning.  It’s a true fact, that you don’t have time to waste away trying to live life according to the world’s standards. Your value says that you are worth more than that.  Time really doesn’t wait on anyone, so it’s up to you to decide how wisely you use the time that you do have.  The Lord has given you strength, endurance, and the ability to use your minds to accomplish great things.  Make sure you never loose sight of the fact that God is with you. And remember the value of you is what you make it to be!!!

Be Blessed!

From one YouthfulSoul to another...

Just Add Man and Stir!

Just Add Man and Stir!!! Okay, okay I realize this almost sounds like a recipe. And I guess in actuality many times especially now-a-days it seems that is how we approach relationships. For example: The American Dream Man recipe: Add a man with money, next add a nice car, next add a nice and expensive house, and a dash of God-fearing, and add a high positioned job and the list of ingredients goes on and on and on.  We even have the recipe for Any Man Will Do- I'll add a man who doesn't work, and a dash of will take all my money, and add has more than 3 baby momma's and add the fact he doesn't take care of his own kids. It just amazes me at how we women can get so beside ourselves and forget about ourselves at the same time.

I mean women are we really looking for a whole relationship or just someone to provide all of the external aspects that we feel we deserve and/or need in our lives. So often I hear the relationship lists that normally doesn't seem to get passed a man taking care of her. Has today's society caused our mindsets to shift from working to have a real love to just Add Man and Stir then Voila' here he is. But hmmm even with that, I wonder if that can portray yet a sense of control? It seems that too often we would rather give instructions to our mates or potential mates that many times don't go with the product we say we provide. So instead we just Add Man and Stir. Many times adding man in to an already chaotic and unfulfilled life stirring/mixing him in with the hurt from past relationships, not truly loving and liking ourselves, the detrimental lack of having a place for him to dwell safely because we would rather bring him in to fix what's broken or at least patch it up. And then we expect him to be like Superman and save the day.

Ladies it is not his responsibility. I know we say or have said we need a man who will complete us and that's not a bad thing to say (when used in the right context), but wouldn't that also mean that the part we bring to the table needs to be complete and safe for him as well? I mean let's discuss it. To complete means to bring closure or to seal something that has a missing part. Now what we have to be mindful of is "the something" that we hold has to be in its proper place ready to be a part of a wonderful relationship. We have to take the time to make sure we have dealt with all the things that could pose a potential threat to our moving forward to having wholesome and meaning relationships. This will allow the person who is to become our mate, make the completion accurate. Otherwise, we run the risk of becoming a woman who has a man but still having that "something is missing" feeling or reality. And if that is by chance the case, then that "something missing" is within you.

We place the wrong responsibilities on our men sometimes and this is why I believe that often times they can't handle it.  Because he's not supposed too. Women, we owe it to ourselves and our men current or future to get it together and vice verse for men.  Could you imagine how many more great relationships would develop if we were truly ready for them mentally, financially, and physically. How many relationships/marriages would sustain throughout the thick and then because of realizing every body has value and every body brings their purpose to the table? And things can be put in the right perspective and the right order.  Please don't take it that I'm getting on to women. After all, I am a young woman myself, but we owe it to the Lord God Almighty and ourselves to handle ourselves with care which would in turn ensure we will do the same for our mates. So let's get it together Ladies. It is definitely my goal to do the same...

From one youthful soul to another. God Bless and Keep It Moving!!!!

This Journey!

You know I realize that for the past few years I have been on somewhat a journey of self-discovery. Now although, my journey began the day I was born, it is this current aspect of my journey that has forced me to learn the deeper aspect of who Cara really is. As a young woman there's so many things that can and do happen that causes you to stop, look, and listen to what is going on around you and in your life. For me, the fact that I've lost love made me realize that it was more important to love myself. And what I also found was that liking me added an extra level of self-empowerment that somehow was missing, more so like another link to the chain that has its purpose to give me durability, protection, and sustainability. Helping me to withstand all that life may bring my way good or bad. Its amazing how God allows various things to come to make us strong yet all the while enabling us to gain a new respect and confidence within ourselves. We start out as the little engine that could growing from "I think I can" to "I know I can".

When you can embrace being a woman having the uniqueness that will set you apart from others, you my friend has just began walking in the person you have been created to be. Not necessarily making you better than someone else but making you better for you, you will find that your purpose is obtainable and will be manifested at the appointed time. In my admittance of not having to go through a very harsh and hard knock life, doesn't leave me out of the equation of trials and tribulations. For me I think the hardest things to get over was the fact that my husband didn't love me enough to stay and neither did real my father. Now for a young woman having the dream or determination to be in a lasting relationship, to feel this heavy and yet misunderstanding fact was a bit over whelming. And the fact that the realization came back to back made it just that much harder to see if the woman I was, could really handle the truth I received. And it didn't matter that me and my husband had our good times and up days. He still didn't stay. However, this made me see my life in a whole other aspect. I fought the enemy trying to make me think, I would never be wanted and that there would never be anyone who could stay with me for the duration. And in this fight I found me. Yes underneath the hurt and aggravation, I yet found out that there was still a good woman waiting to see the world and all it had to offer.

For each level in life that one embarks on and moves past, adds another link to the chain that will ultimately become the whole person. The important thing is to determine what will each link represent as it relates to  you and who you are. I have to admit for me, that discovery is yet an ongoing process as it will probably be until the day I die. The amazing thing is that for each thing in life I go through I will become stronger.

Just wanted to share a moment with you. Until we speak again, from one Youthful Soul to another. God Bless!

Women: Is A Good Man Really Hard to Find?

You know its simple to say a good man is hard to find, but how hard is it for a good man to find that one woman the good thing the bible speaks about?  Could it be the reason why a good man is hard to find is because we are not in the right place to be seen?  Often times we put it on the fact that a good man is hard to find. But now being that even the bible says the man who findeth a wife findeth a good thing, lets me further know that its not that I should be looking for my mate but more so I should be looking within me to develop into the "good thing" he is to find. Now when I speak of the right place that doesn't necessarily mean physically. The right place could refer to our mindset, our spirituality, our confidence in our self, etc... If some or possibly all of these things are lacking then how can we expect to blessed with our good man.  I believe God spends a lot of time working on those men who are willing to allow love and marriage to enter their hearts for the right reason. But really the most important things that we should be concerned about are those things that pertain to us. And my sistas it is up to us to handle our part so that we can be blessed with the fulfillment that each of us long for in a marriage.  We have to work on ourselves, learn ourselves, be confident in ourselves, love ourselves etc..; in order to know what and who we deserve. So that per adventure God decides to bless us with "The One" we will be in a place to see it, acknowledge it, and embrace it. 

Now don't get me wrong I believe every man has that same opportunity, but every man don't make that same choice.  When we allow our minds to be filled with the fairy tale prospect we blind ourselves to the real prospect. And yes I believe he could be the mailman who brings you the mail every day but always asks how you are doing, or he could be the warehouse worker who is ware house worker for 8 hrs a day but a good man 24 hrs a day. I'm not saying as women we shouldn't want the best. All I'm saying is we have to mindful of exactly what that best is individually. And sometimes the best isn't always the man whose making 6 figures, looks good, has status, etc... But when you get him home mistreats you. I wonder if its possible for us to become open to the sensitivity of God and the embedded instincts that He has given us. That serves as an alarm. Can we learn to trust ourselves enough that when that alarm goes off in us, we can make the right decision concerning that particular situation. And not treat it like we don't hear it. I believe that would allow us to be more wise about the things we accept and don't accept. Maybe this would help us stay out of the broken relationship lane so often.

My thinking in terms of relationships may sound a bit fairytale to some but I would gladly admit that I believe that God has created in each of us, what is needed to be the good women and wives we are supposed to be.  And its not based on what the girl next door is doing or isn’t doing, and isn’t based on what the world is saying I should or shouldn’t be doing. But gaining a further close relationship with God so that we can accept who we are and strive for who we are to become. No, life is not only about gaining a mate and becoming the greatest wives ever walked the face of the earth (wink, wink). However, we should have a mind to gain the ultimate level of satisfaction that a successful relationship will bring to our marriages. 

As women, it is vital that we take the necessary steps (which will be listed in the "Me, Myself, & I" chapter of my book coming soon) that will allow us to sustain in being single all the while developing to become that potential mate he will not only want to marry but stay married too. Yes I know this works both ways, but since we are woman to woman I figure its best to stick to this side of the fence. Do you know it is possible to be in a relationship with someone and yet feel alone? How's that? I imagine that the two individuals are dancing to their own beat in their own worlds while yet in a relationship. And the sad part about that is, no one can hear the music but them. The good man you and I seek has to exist right? I would think so. But I now wonder if that good man can be determined from the good women we are and/or striving to be in order to make the right choice. I mean how can we really know what we want or deserve if we can't see it for ourselves in the first place. Its not enough to take what society may deem as the good man every woman needs. The only persons who can successfully make that determination is you, God, and the man. Why because they are the ones that would ultimately have access the woman you are. Society can't tell you anything about you. It can only make a generalization but not a personalization.

So my sistas. Let's get this thing together. Let's get it. I mean after all, a good part of the kind of relationships we find ourselves in are based on who/what we allow to have access in our lives.  And who/what we allow to have access in our lives is based on the kind of women we are.  I mean let's be real. Although we may say we want a good man and a good relationship, if we have not dealt with all of the previous issues and relationship residue; we are only going to subject the new man to the same ole stuff as before.  And truthfully it is not his fault that we yet see the same results; if we have not changed the actions that would render us changed results. We set the tone for what our next relationship will entail. And we have to decide how bad do we want to have a good and wholesome relationship. My prayer is that each and every one of us will retrospect our previous situations and circumstances and do an inventory. Take what worked and build from that. And take what didn't work and see what needs to change so we can move forward positively. If it requires forgiveness, I mean true forgiveness then do that. Remember forgiving someone is not always about the other person, but about you, so that you can move on. Keeping the power in its rightful place which is with you.

So now as we wait for that good man to find us. Let us wait while yet doing something about our personal lives. Learning the women we are and building on the women we are yet to see. That when the day comes for him to find us, we will be ready to seize the moment that has carefully been designed specifically for us. And I encourage you, you're life has been stragetically designed to have all that God has for you. Now walk and live knowing this is true!!! Love ya.

And until we speak again, from one Youthful Soul to Another. God Bless!